By Sharon Ryan
Square dancing was introduced to America in the 1950’s by immigrants migrating west from England, France and Scotland, among other countries. In 2009, it finally reached Bonaventure House thanks to our Occupational Therapy (OT) staff, Brad and Marisa.
In tune with the “Dancing with the Stars” craze, they wanted to introduce something fun and new that would give residents the satisfaction of accomplishment while getting out of their comfort zone. So the idea of “Dancing with OT,” square dance-style, was born.
Needless to say, recruiting residents to actually participate was the hard part. Some questioned what square dancing possibly had to do with OT, since most of our groups dealt with the physical, mental and emotional challenges of living on our own after Bonaventure House. But it actually does make sense; we’ve never square danced before! We were being introduced to something we never would have tried otherwise.
In square dancing, a “caller” calls out every move which one has to listen to, process and carry out. Too often in recovery, we pick up the catch phrases, slogans and sayings without knowing what they actually mean or ever applying them to our life or day to day actions. That’s not the case in square dancing.
Square Dancing at Bonaventure House
On March 17, the first of a six week course began. Larry Tradup, who has been square dancing for over 10 years and calling for a little less, donated his time to teaching his art at Bonaventure House. Four residents and four staff members showed up, which completed the “square”. Larry brought his old 45’s and his microphone, and when the name tags were in place, everyone was ready to begin.
The basic attitudes going into group were skepticism and nervousness, but also the idea that it could be fun, which it was. Participants learned to do-si-do, courtesy turn and swing their partner rather quickly. At the end of the first day, they were exhausted! Some said, at first, that it felt longer than a regular group and that they thought it would have been easier than it actually was. But everyone agreed they had a good time.
At the start of group the following week, two more residents had joined and some of the originals were afraid they had forgotten some steps. But everyone eventually caught up, and over the next six weeks, many more steps were learned and many good times were experienced.
Life Lessons of the Dance
The introduction of square dancing to Bonaventure House turned out to be a very positive move. It seems if you really think about it, square dancing has much more to do with life and recovery than one would have thought. Square dancing involves listening to and applying what you're told, otherwise the dance would be a mess. Life is the same, especially in recovery, because no one can do it alone. If we do things our own way, we'll make a mess out of our lives. We have to listen to what others tell and suggest to us, especially those who have been down the same paths we have.
In dancing, it's important to know where your home is. In life, it's important to know where your support system is. We have to learn that some people do want to make our lives a mess, to bring us down with them, and some people want to see us excel. Knowing who your "partners & corners" are, the real, genuine ones, makes life AND dancing much easier and smoother.
The importance of the 12 steps seems to be vital in some people's recovery. You have to finish one step in order to move on to the next one. There's an order to the steps of square dancing as there is with the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), and the order was created for a reason. The steps in AA go together in the sense that they're all about acceptance, admission and spirituality. When you piece together the steps of AA, a brand new, better person is supposed to emerge. When you piece together the steps of square dancing, a dancer is produced, as well as an attractive dance.
The Final Score
Overall, the group was a success. The unity of the group was admirable and the dedication of the participants definitely showed. Throughout the six weeks, I was able to observe the group members having fun. I saw them go into the group very skeptical and unsure of the outcome. I see now that they enjoy what they've learned and they had a good time. They laughed at each other’s mistakes and learned from their own. They felt proud when they nailed a certain step. They got nervous AND excited when they knew they were about to learn something new. They all got along well and helped each other, because one person’s mistake can, and will, throw the whole square off.
On the last day of this special OT group, everyone was actually upset that there would be no dancing. Instead, it was a sit down discussion of what was learned and how they all felt now that it was over. Every member said that they would miss the group and that it was so much more fun than they had originally thought. They said they were surprised that it became so easy, even though it was so detailed and involved.
When asked what they learned that they could apply to their lives, all participants were quick to come up with an honest answer. They said they learned organization, consistency and teamwork. They learned to pay attention, to follow instructions and to temper their expectations. The most important lesson for the majority involved the diversity of the group and the fact that any baggage a person had could be checked at the door and they were able to make an individual effort to get along and have a great time, all the while learning something new. They were able to accept constructive criticism, get over any attitude they possessed and keep going.
It seems that Brad and Marisa’s purpose of this group was ultimately fulfilled. Who would’ve thought that a silly square dancing idea would lead to such camaraderie and fun? It was all worthwhile, and perhaps the main, underlying goal of the group was also reached. When participants were asked what else they would be willing to try that was new to them, many ideas arose that involved both OT groups as well as changes in their individual lives.
So be on the lookout for residents of Bonaventure House to try changing schools, line dancing, ballroom dancing, bungee jumping and even sky diving. They may be in a class near you!